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| SO HAIRY Yo momma so hairy you almost died of rugburn at birth! Yo momma so hairy she's got afros on her nipples! Yo momma so hairy she look like she got Buckwheat in a headlock. Yo momma so hairy Bigfoot is taking her picture! Yo momma so hairy she wears a Nike tag on her weave so now everybody calls her Hair Jordan. HEAD SO BIG Yo momma head so big she has to step into her shirts. Yo momma head so big it shows up on radar. NOSE IS SO BIG Yo momma nose so big you can go bowling with her boogers! Yo momma nose so big she makes Pinochio look like a cat! SO DARK Yo momma so dark she went to night school and was marked absent! Yo momma so dark she spits chocolate milk! Yo momma so dark she went to night school and was marked absent. Yo momma so dark that she can leave fingerprints on charcoal. Yo momma so dark she has to wear white gloves when she eats Tootsie Rolls to keep from eating her fingers. SO DIRTY Yo momma so dirty she has to creep up on bathwater. HOUSE SO DIRTY Yo momma house so dirty roaches ride around on dune buggies! Yo momma house so dirty she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside. SO FLAT Yo momma so flat she's jealous of the wall! GOT Yo momma got so many freckles she looks like a hamburger! Yo momma got two wooden legs and one is one backward. Yo momma got three fingers and a banjo. Yo momma got a wooden leg with a kickstand on it. Yo momma got a bald head with a part and sideburns. Yo momma got a' afro, wit' a chin strap!!!! Yo momma got a wooden leg with branches. Yo momma got so many teeth missing, it looks like her tounge is in jail. Yo momma got a metal afro with rusty sideburns. SO GREASY Yo momma so greasy she used bacon as a band-aid! Yo momma so greasy she sweats Crisco! Yo momma so greasy Texaco buys Oil from her SO BALD Yo momma so bald even a wig wouldn't help! Yo momma so bald you can see whats on her mind Yo momma so bald that she took a shower and got brain-washed. HAS Yo momma has an afro with a chin strap. Yo momma has one leg and a bicycle. Yo momma has 4 eyes and 2 pair of sunglasses. Yo momma has so much hair on her upper lip, she braids it. Yo momma has one hand and a Clapper. Yo momma has a wooden afro with an "X" carved in the back. Yo momma has green hair and thinks she's a tree. Yo momma has one ear and has to take off her hat to hear what you're saying. Yo momma has a 'fro with warning lights. Yo momma has 10 fingers--all on the same hand. Yo momma has a glass eye with a fish in it. Yo momma has a short leg and walks in circles. Yo momma has a short arm and can't applaude. SO LAZY Yo momma so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs. IS LIKE Yo momma like potato chips-- Fri-to Lay Yo momma like a screen door, after a couple bangs she tends to loosen up! Yo momma like the pillbury doughboy - everyone gets a poke! Yo momma like a doorknob - everyone gets a turn! Yo momma like a T.V. set, even a three year old can turn her on! Yo momma like a doorknob, everyone gets a turn! Yo momma like a bus, fifty cents and she's ready to ride! Yo momma like a golf course, everyone GETS a hole in one! Yo momma like the railway system, she gets laid all over the country! Yo momma like a tomato source bottle, everyone gets a squeeze out of her! Yo momma like a shotgun: one cock and she blows! Yo momma like a hardware store: 4 cents a screw! Yo momma like Domino's pizza-- Something for nothing Yo momma like a refridgerator: everyone likes to put their meat in her! Yo momma like cake mix, 15 servings per package! Yo momma like a rifle... four cocks and she's loaded. Yo momma like a bowling ball. She's picked up, fingered, and then thrown in the gutter. Yo momma like a bus: Guys climb on and off her all day long. Yo momma like a Toyota: "Oh what a feelin'!" Yo momma like Orange Crush: "Good Vibrations!" Yo momma like a bubble-gum machine... five cents a blow. Yo momma like chinese food: sweet, sour and cheap! Yo momma like a vaccuum cleaner.....a real good suck. MISC Yo momma wears knee-pads and yells "Curb Service!" Yo momma feet are so big her shoes have to have license plates! Yo momma aint so bad...she would give you the hair off of her back! Yo momma lips so big, Chap Stick had to invent a spray. It took yo momma 10 tries to get her drivers license, she couldnt get used to the front seat! You were born out of your mother's arse 'cos her cunt was too busy. Yo momma hips are so big, people set their drinks on them. Yo momma hair so nappy she has to take Tylenol just to comb it. Yo momma so clumsy she got tangled up in a cordless phone. Yo momma so wrinkled, she has to screw her hat on. Yo momma twice the man you are. Yo momma cross-eyed and watches TV in stereo. Yo momma is missing a finger and can't count past 9. Yo momma arms are so short, she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear. Yo momma middle name is Rambo. Yo momma in a wheelchair and says, "You ain't gonna puch me 'round no more." Yo momma rouchy, the McDonalds she works in doesn't even serve Happy Meals. Yo momma so stupid was born on Independence Day and can't remember her birthday. If my dog had a face as ugly as your momma's, I'd shave his ass and make him walk backwards. Yo momma mouth so big, she speaks in surround sound. Yo momma gums are so black she spits Yoo-hoo. Yo momma breath smell so bad when she yawns her teeth duck. I saw your momma at the freak show petting the world's largest turtle. I saw your momma kicking a can down the street. I asked her what she was doing, and she said "Moving." Yo momma teeth are so rotten, when she smiles they look like dice. SO NASTY Yo momma so nasty when she goes to a hair salon, she told the stylist to cut her hair and she opened up her shirt Yo momma so nasty She gotta put ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh! Yo momma so nasty she made speed stick slow down. Yo momma so nasty she brings crabs to the beach Yo momma so nasty she made right guard turn left. Yo momma so nasty the fishery be paying her to leave Yo momma so nasty she has to creep up on bathwater. Yo momma so nasty that her sh*t is glad to escape. Yo momma so nasty Ozzie Ozbourne refused to bite her head off Yo momma so nasty that pours salt water down her pants to keep her crabs fresh. Yo momma so nasty I called her for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection. SO OLD Yo momma so old I told her to act her own age, and the bitch died. Yo momma so old she has Jesus' beeper number! Yo momma so old her social security number is 1! Yo momma so old that when God said let the be light, she hit the switch' Yo momma so old that when she was in school there was no history class. Yo momma so old she owes Jesus 3 bucks! Yo momma so old she's in Jesus's yearbook! Yo momma so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook. Yo momma so old her birth certificate says expired on it. Yo momma so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince. Yo momma so old she owes Jesus a nickel. Yo momma so old when God said "Let their be light", she flipped the switch. Yo momma so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper. Yo momma so old she ran track with dinosaurs. Yo momma so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals. Yo momma so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook. Yo momma so old she sat behind Jesus in the third grade. Yo momma so old and stupid she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said, "Li'l Mary will never amount to anything". SO POOR Yo momma so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving." Yo momma so poor she can't afford to pay attention! Yo momma so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush! Yo momma so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!!! Yo momma so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!" Yo momma so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway. Yo momma so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway. Yo momma so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk. Yo momma so poor she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people's fingers. Yo momma so poor her face is on the front of a foodstamp. Yo momma so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage." Yo momma so poor she drives a peanut. Yo momma so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning. HAIR SO SHORT Yo momma hair so short when she braided it they looked like stiches. Yo momma hair so short she curls it with rice. SO SKINNY Yo momma so skinny she hula hoops with a cheerio Yo momma so skinny she has to wear a belt with spandex. Yo momma so skinny she turned sideways and dissapeared. Yo momma so skinny that if she turns sideways and sticks out her tongue she looks like a zipper. Yo momma so skinny she has to bundle up 'cause of the "thin chill factor" HEAD SO SMALL Yo momma head so small she use a tea-bag as a pillow. Yo momma head so small that she got her ear pierced and died. HOUSE SO SMALL Yo momma house so small that when she orders a large pizza she had to go outside to eat it. Yo momma house so small she has to go outside to eat a large pizza. Yo momma house so small you have to go outside to change your mind. SO STUPID Yo momma so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes Yo momma so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends Yo momma so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon Yo momma so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read Yo momma so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind Yo momma so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl Yo momma so stupid you have to dig for her IQ! Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved! Yo momma so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes! Yo momma so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order! Yo momma so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone! Yo momma so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money! Yo momma so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight! Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund! Yo momma so stupid she took a cup to see Juice. Yo momma so stupid that she sold the car for gas money. Yo momma so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911" Yo momma so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept. Yo momma so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K." Yo momma so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out. Yo momma so stupid she stole free bread. Yo momma so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl. Yo momma so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check. Yo momma so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back. Yo momma so stupid she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners. Yo momma so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train. Yo momma so stupid when asked on an application, "Sex?", she marked, "M, F and sometimes Wednesday too." Yo momma so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif. Yo momma so stupid when you stand next to her you hear the ocean! Yo momma so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved! Yo momma so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds! Yo momma so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch! Yo momma so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center. Yo momma so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home. Yo momma so stupid when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead. Yo momma so stupid she jumped out the window and went up. Yo momma so stupid she thought a quarterback was an income tax refund. Yo momma so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain. Yo momma so stupid that under "Education" on her job apllication, she put "Hooked on Phonics." Yo momma so stupid she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house. Yo momma so stupid she put lipstick on her forehead, talking about she was trying to makeup her mind. Yo momma so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes. SO TALL Yo momma so tall she tripped over a rock and hit her head on the moon. Yo momma so tall she did a back-flip and kicked Jesus in the mouth. Yo momma so tall she tripped in Michigan and hit her head in Florida. GLASSES SO THICK Yo momma's glasses are so thick that when she looks on a map she can see people waving. Yo momma's glasses are so thick she can see into the future. SO UGLY Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals." Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning. Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it." Yo momma so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies. Yo momma so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower Yo momma so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars. Yo momma so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck Yo momma so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween. Yo momma so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras Yo momma so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her Yo momma so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her. Yo momma so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say "Damn, is it Halloween already?" Yo momma so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday. Yo momma so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects. Yo momma so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints. Yo momma so ugly she made an onion cry. Yo momma so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower! Yo momma so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours. . .for a quote! Yo momma so ugly they put her in dough and made monster cookies! Yo momma so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out! Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and gets arrested! Yo momma so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her! Yo momma so ugly Ted Dansen wouldn't date her! Yo momma so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone! Yo momma so ugly she had to get her baby drunk to breastfeed it! Yo momma so ugly she turned Medusa to stone! Yo momma so ugly The NHL banned her for life Yo momma so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween! Yo momma so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday! Yo momma so ugly if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects! Yo momma so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints Yo momma so ugly she made an onion cry! Yo momma so ugly people go as her for Halloween. Yo momma so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her. Yo momma so ugly she scares the roaches away. Yo momma so ugly we have to tie a steak around your neck so the dog will play with her! Yo momma so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound. Yo momma so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects. Yo momma so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye. TEETH SO YELLOW Yo momma teeth are so yellow traffic slows down when she smiles! Yo momma teeth are so yellow she spits butter! |
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