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| Clever Sayings I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers. Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. -- Oscar Wilde The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?" I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. -- A. Whitney Brown A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices. -- William James The Lord's Prayer is 66 words, the Gettysburg Address is 286 words, there are 1,322 words in the Declaration of Independence, but government regulations on the sale of cabbage total 26,911 words. -- From an article on the growth of federal regulations In the Oct. 24th issue of National Review: Half of the people in the world are below average. There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets? -- Dick Cavett, mocking the TV-violence debate If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base. -- Dave Barry Writing about music is like dancing about architecture. Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today? 1. Writing his memoirs of the Civil War. 2. Advising the President. 3. Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin. -- David Letterman Somebody hits me, I'm going to hit him back. Even if it does look like he hasn't eaten in a while. -- Charles Barkley, after blatantly elbowing an Angolan basketball opponent in the Olympics I think that the team that wins game five will win the series. Unless we lose game five. -- Charles Barkley Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself. -- Mark Twain The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad. -- Salvador Dali The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them. -- William Clayton When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities. -- From "Basic Sex Facts For Today's Youngfolk" in ``Life In Hell'' by Matt Groening "Time's fun when you're having flies." -- Kermit the Frog |
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