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| Land For Sale..... Dear Reader, A teenaged girl is very anxious to offer a small lovely triangular piece of plot centrally situated on the lower slope area, but unobserved bu anybody so far. For the last 19 years the plot was tenderly cared for and looked after. The plot is virgin and fertile and can bear fruit in the very first plantation also.For the last two years, the plot is covered with very fine curly grass which is very tender. No chemical has been ever used to remove the grass, which has now covered the (w)hole area. There is also a small cave well hidden and no test has so far been carried out to ascertain the possibility of water in that cave.Offers are immd. invited from the prospective buyers with firm and energetic working capital which can be put in right away. The buyer should be strong enough to labour hard on the plot, plough it hard with their tools and tackles. Although initially, it will be hard and difficult, but once the capital is put in, they will not repent and will be delighted to have ventured into the site. It is gauranted that there will be full cooperation from the owner if the buyer is ready to put in straight his capital immd. No sub-letting please. Neighbours are waiting for an opportunity to tresspass the plot. So hurry up, to be the first entrant to the site.Offer valid till 22nd of Dec.,1642 For Fuckers & Forgetters Pvt. Ltd. Manager. Tale of two brothers........ Twin brothers were named Joe and John, Joe was the owner of an old dilapidated boat. It happened that John's wife died the same day that Joe's boat sank.A few days later a kindly old lady met Joe on the street mistakinghim for John, she said to him, "I'm sorry for your loss, you must feel terrible".Joe said, "Oh hell no, fact is I'm sort of glad to be rid of her.She was a rotten old thing from the beginning, her bottomwas all shriveled up and she smelled like dead fish. She wasalways losing water, had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front which got bigger every time I used her. She leaked like crazy and it was difficult to keep her upright. But what really finished her off was when four tough guys rented her for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't any good, but they all wanted to have a go with her anyhow. The damn fools all tried to get on her at the same time and it was just too much for the old girl, whie they were trying to get into their various positions she split up the middle". The old woman fainted. Indian Tax Structure....... The only thing the Indian Taxation department has not yet taxed is your Dick. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 20% of the time it is pissed off, 30% of the time it is hard up and 10% of the time it is in a hole. On top of this it has two dependants and they are both nuts. Therefore from August 1998 your Ding-Dong will be taxed according to its size. To determine your category, please insert this information on part II, Sec 7, line 4 of your standard tax form. 10" to 12" Luxury Tax Rs. 500. pa. 8" to 10" Pole Tax Rs. 450 pa. 6" to 8" Privilege Tax Rs. 400 pa. 4" to 6" Nuisance Tax Rs. 200 pa. PS. Any one under 4" is eligible for a refund. Any one exceeding 12" must file under "CAPITAL GAINS" NOTICE Regarding: Voluntary disclosure of Assets for all Female Tax Payers. The Minstry of Finance has so far not covered under the purview of tax the GLOBAL ASSETS of women tax payers. Such assets invariably attracted male tax payers to hide their income "Projection into Female Vaults" So far the Government has not ventured to unearth such assets because 60% of the time they are concealed, 20% of the time Hard Pressed, 15% of the time Squeezed and 5% of the time sucked. It also lets a lot of "CLEAVAGE" betweent the "Global Assets." The government therefore instead of enforcing a search on such assetshas come out with a scheme to attract women for " Voluntary Disclosure" of their global assets. 37" to 38" Burden Tax Rs. 1,000 pa. 35" to 36" Entertainment Tax Rs. 800 pa. 33" to 34" Excitement Tax Rs. 600 pa. 31" to 32" Search Tax Rs. 400 pa. PS. Sizes under 30" will be eligible for a "Development Rebate"whereas sizes above 39" will fall under "Wealth Tax " Married womenwhose assets are shared by their spouses will be entitled to a concession of 20% on the above rates as "Wear and Tear allowance" Allcases of violation of global assets disclosure rule will be handled "Firmly" Cat n Cock...... A cat goes up to a rooster and says, "I can do anything you can do!" The rooster took the challenge and jumped over a broomstick. The cat jumped over the broomstick and said, "See, I can do anything you can do!" The rooster then went to a tiny brook, jumped/flew across and then asked the cat to do it. The cat ran, jumped, and fell in the water. The rooster had a great laugh as the cat got out of the water. The moral of this story is: Wherever there is a wet pussy, there's a happy cock. |
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